I did make it to yoga today. It was another battle to get there, which is disheartening. The only thing that keeps me from flaking out is the reality that if I don't go I'm going to end up feeling VERY bad about myself. I went to the 4 o'clock class with Erika and had two incidents where I completely bit it. I'm talking a full on collapse out of the posture. The first spill was coming out of the last part of awkward pose. I fell backwards a couple feet and caught myself with my hands. Shit. Very noticeable, and therefore, very embarrassing. The second time was during camel. I went for my heels, was able to grab both, but just didn't have the arm strength to hold it. Another fall backwards. I guess I'm lucky I didn't hurt myself. I stayed with it though. Finished the class and walked home, a bit defeated.
The plan is to take tomorrow off, which I have some reservations about. It's my husband's birthday and we're taking a day trip to Ruby Beach. The weather is supposed to be clear and warm. I'm worried that if I take a day off, I'll have a hard time returning to class on Sunday. I'm proud of myself for finishing 6 days in a row, but I always think I am capable of doing better. However, the decision I'm making to take tomorrow off is being made ahead of time and for good reason. Not because I'm letting my depression and anxiety call the shots. I'm hoping this will make Sunday a bit easier to get back into the swing of things.
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You know it's not about being the best, or even good. It's just that you do it. If it was about being really good, I would never make it out of the house!
ReplyDeleteBy the way this is Aubry.
Thanks Aubry!
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