Day 10...back to it

First day back after my day off and it was hard to get there.  I had a rough morning.  Sundays I work as a relief nurse for the animal hospital we live below.  It involves doing treatments and caring for the patients and boarders there.  I woke up cranky and bitter that I couldn't just sleep in.  Instead I went upstairs to do my work.  My mood deteriorated quickly as I went about trying to get things done.  Eventually my anger turned into a full blown rage.  I stomped back downstairs, slammed the door, and went back to bed.  My husband attempted to talk to me and calm me down, but I wanted nobody near me.  I took a couple klonipin and as I waited for them to kick in my anger subsided, turning into guilt and sadness that these "episodes" still happen.  They've become less frequent, but when they do happen they're bad and I can fall quickly into a deep depression.  Since I don't have many coping skills (yet) I rely on medication to calm me down.  And time.  My hysterical sobbing stopped and I fell asleep for a couple hours.  I felt better when I woke up.  Not great.  But able to finish my work and make it to yoga class.  It was a decent class.  It feels as if I pulled my hamstring so we'll see how that feels in the morning.  For now I'm going to go take a shower and have some chocolate chip cookies. 

One of my favorite 30 Rock lines:
“Hey, where are my Sno-balls? I’m going to the gym later so I deserve a treat” --Liz Lemon