Wednesday and Day 22

As I expected, Wednesday was a busy day for me and I allowed myself to just take it easy and not put the pressure on to get to a class.  It's a funny thing.  I remember not so long ago a busy day would go something like this: work a physically and emotionally draining 11 hour shift, followed by going out with friends or doing something with my husband.  Things have really changed.  Yesterday I had an appointment (individual therapy) and group (my first DBT session) that took about four hours and when I got home I was exhausted.  Granted, the whole time was spent dealing with my current mental state and how I can start to cope better.  The idea of  "getting better" isn't always appealing.  Depression can create a comfortable and predictable existence.  The suffering is intense, but in a sense, it's home.  It's familiar.  So focusing on ways to not let it control my life can be overwhelming and often anxiety provoking.  That was Wednesday.

Today I went to the 4pm class taught by Lisa (my first time with her I think).  I tend to steer myself towards classes where I'm familiar with the teacher.  Haha, very much like what I described above.  I'm a creature of habit.  Not one for being spontaneous.  Don't like change.  I think you get it. :-)  So when I go to a class with a "new" teacher, I'm always a little anxious of how it's going to go.  In truth, I've liked every single teacher (certainly I prefer some over others) at the studio I go to.  But it might be a good idea, and challenge really, for myself to branch out a little more.  I'll check the schedule for tomorrow and see what I can figure out...

I sure hope there's a new 30 Rock episode tonight!! 

"Creativity to me is just like a bird, like a friendly bird that embraces all ideas and shoots out of its eyes all kinds of beauty"--Lemon